31 augusti 2011
I knew that it wouldn't be an overnight process, i knew it wouldn't be easy and i knew it wouldn't be cheap. It came with its costs, some which don't need to be mentioned and others like the obvious, such as money and time sacrificed and friends or even loved ones being lost. It seems as if i put a lot at stake with going on this diet, many people don't even realize that. Its not as easy as running every morning, its about constantly being hungry, constantly having to eat the same meals, for 15 weeks, every single fucking day. It wasn't fun, no not at all. I had my fair share of support, mostly from my gym partner and also i lot from Tippan, my ex. With these two people pushing me i had to push on through the diet. A few weeks back i got sick at a friends place, decided to fuck it for the first 4 weeks and train and diet through it. After that i realized i couldn't continue and had to take penicillin which meant no training for 10 days and no dieting. I went up about 2 kilos that 10 days but quickly lost it.
Literally the day after i finished my penicillin cycle i became sick YET AGAIN, no thanks to all the people in my house. Everyone is sick in my house atm, it fucking sucks. And with that, i'm now sick for the 6th week in total and im being forced to put my diet on hold.
I was so close to my end goal i could almost taste it. Literally a month away at the max, having already dropped 10kilos plus another 2.5kilos after going up after the penicillin cycle. Right now i'm sitting here in tears, i'm not gonna lie. I'm so fucking emotional right now and now one seems to give a fuck. Its not all fun and shinnanigans being on a diet, not when u dedicate every single day to it. And u push yourself through all the rough times one can possibly have, like I've had the last few weeks. I stuck to it, most of the time. Sure i may have slacked now and then but whatever, i was always under deficit at the end of the week.
With that being said i'm sorry, to all the people who have pushed me and supported me the last two months. I've let all of you down, but my body is not ready for this. It cannot continue. 10 weeks all gone down the drain because of some useless fucking bacteria. Fuck you nature. I did this to myself, i was stubborn and retarded and refused to listen to my body when it was trying to tell me something was wrong, and now it's too late.
Here's some progress pics, taken yesterday. 66.0 kilos on the day.
30 augusti 2011
29 augusti 2011
Ivan B, 200cm, turned down Hollister and almost born in 1992. Those of you who know Ivan know that he has recently left Sweden, to start Uni in Maastricht, the Netherlands.
Raised on the grassy plains of his luxurious house in Tanzania, which came with a private driver I believe, Ivan is quite the remarkable person. Known for being a true "smart" person he gave the nerd_girl_squad a run for their money in the 3 years we were all in a class together. I don't know how or where he obtained some of the random facts he blurted out, but it always seemed to make sense, and/or be correct? How did he do that, i still wonder today. His fascination for philosophy always seemed to impress me, i'm not much of a philosopher but i like to do it from time to time, on my level.
Ivan likes chameleons, he would like to be one of the smaller kinds if reincarnation was true. He knows unusually much about the little colorful creatures, much more than any other person i know in fact. He told us this a few days ago, while we sat in Enskede doing our usual Morot Crü things, talking about nothing. So many memories that i have saved up in my brain_memory_bank, of us two, us four and later us five, some even with us seven whilst still in school. He was one of the co-founders of Morot Crü along with Dutchess and Chief Master Boar. A life long friendship (i hope lol) that seemed to orbit around a few simple things, we know what they are and some of you out there prolly know what they are too. Here are a few clues..
A true team member and player, some one who was always there for you when you needed ears, eyes a hand or whatever it was, Ivan was always there to help. I remember one specific time, not too long ago when i was quite depressed, we had just discovered a new spot right in the middle of town at a huge football park. The place was called Mannen, because of a strange looking business man who came to sit close by us and smoke cigarettes. At this place we were awake pretty early for us in the summer, it was before noon and we sat waiting for a friend, we spoke about different paths life takes us, has taken, and will take us. So many touchy, dark and really scary subjects were touched upon that day, some of which i still find hard to grasp to the day. Ivan really pulled through that day and as always, said some deep philosophical and psychological mumbo jumbo that he normally does, and all was well in my confused little head, surprinsingly hehe :)
Within the MC, we kinda lived in our own world. A world where the city was kind of like our kingdom, we went wherever we went, did whatever we wanted and no one could stop us. Here is the Giant in his true element, on top of a mother fucking mountain.
Sorry that this was such a messy blog post, but just writing this makes me all teary eyed. I could write so much more about the Giant, but i would rather leave it at this.
A true friend, Ivan you will be missed by more people than just MC and its affiliates, i hope that we can some day meet again, preferably in Amsterdam hehe, but any where really!
28 augusti 2011
Whenever you need me
Whenever want me,
You know you can call me, I’ll be there shortly
Don’t care what your friends say, cause they dont know me
I can be your best friend, and you be my homie
A dear friend of mine left the other day, named Ivan. I've only known Ivan since 2007. roughly 4½ years now, but together with him and a few others we created Morot Crü, our longboard crew. We have a few clips of us skating and doing various things around Stockholm, just skating and chilling mostly. We all become such a tight knitted group of friends over the last 2 years, even tho Ivan moved down to Africa for 9 months or so in 2010.. Sadly now, Ivan has moved on to Maastricht in the Netherlands to study there, nice Amdam some time soon? ^^ Another post will come later about Ivan and what we like to call, Giant.
In other news! The ocean is raging in the indo pacific, Billabong is trying to host a surf event at the infamous Teahupo'o in Tahiti but the waves are a bit too crazy. Yesterday i managed to catch some webcast at like 3am, they were having a lay day for the contest and a tow session was arranged. Towing is when a surfer is pulled behind a jetski, so he can have enough speed to catch bigger waves and get massively slotted!
Hopefully they will have the contest up and running soon, they're about halfway thru the waiting period i think? :S
Heres the link to the webcast, followed by a few crazy pics of yesterdays tow in session! Btw, the reasons Chopes, as its called, is so infamous is quite obvious.. Just look at how the wave breaks. The entire ocean gets sucked up and backed up behind the face of the wave leaving almost bare rock at the bottom, about maybe 2 - 4meters deep. So in theory the entire ocean is placed behind each wave for a period.. Check the pics and you will understand!
Bong Pro Tahiti
25 augusti 2011
22 augusti 2011
21 augusti 2011
19 augusti 2011
All I wanna do is surf. I want Cali to come. I wanna sit under the sun. I wanna be able to not worry about work. I want closure. I want peace at mind. I want the beach.
Fuck these emo posts. All this small shit is really starting to get to me.
Before anything is said let's look at the title of this post, note bodybuilder. I've been thinking about this for sometime now and came tho the conclusion that I do indeed fall into the category of "bodybuilder".
If a group of guys play soccer, or football as some may say, then those guys are referred to as soccer players, amirite? Yes, they practice the sport and play it regularly. Therefore this makes them soccer players, or footballers, depending on which side of the planet ur on hehe. The same applies to all sports whether they are team sports such as soccer or individual sports such as chess, swimming or surfing. I may not be the biggest guy around, but I'm still a bodybuilder. I train, and therefore build my body.
With this territory comes a dark and quite frankly, rather unpleasant side, as which is experienced in most sports. Right now, I think I'm experiencing some of these darker side of the bodybuilding life. I've been in a diet for the last month and a half, after a little hiccup at the month mark I managed to pick it up again and am now at a solid 10kg minus. This has had a really bad toll on my mind and body tho, things I don't really want to write too much about tbh.
It's a tough routine and not everyone can accomplish it. Not saying that I'm better than anyone else, because as I just wrote up here, I had a few hiccups along my journey.. and I'm only halfway! So I recently discovered I have sustained a few injuries, both outside and inside of my body due to dieting and overtraining. Dieting is good and all for the body, but if you do it wrong and combine it with over training and being greedy for fat loss then its not such a good thing.
Being sick lately has also helped to my injuries with swollen glands, sore throats and loads of flem being coughed up. Now when I'm finally on medication another thing pops up to hinder my progress, these two injuries
I feel like I could tear someone's throat out, so much rage and anger for being so stupid that I could do this to myself. The pain fuels my aggression which is directed to myself, and my head just starts doing 180s. (No, I'm not cutting myself haha) Sure its only putting me back about two or three weeks, but those are gonna be some long ass weeks, can tell you that now.
There's only one person I really wanna be with right now, but that person is so far from me right now. I don't even know if they think of me anymore. We'll see I guess.
15 augusti 2011
Both songs just appeal to me, strangely enough considering my very different music taste - hiphop.
Gorillaz version right here..
We all went out the other night, to a friend of mines 20th. Me john robin and some others started randomly attempting to freestyle haha, was epic. Met some new people, some girl who was a massive hypercondriact haha. kinda sad, she was cute.. from a far haha :P
Anyways, only a few things left to fix, that being a copy of my passport and the application fee then im free to send off my app to SBCC!
Lotta stuff has been going through my head lately too, dont know what to do or think of it. Its quite strange to be honest, being alone is both scary and exciting yet i still find myself reflecting and reminiscing back to previous months.. i prob shouldnt do it since it makes me feel quite sad and emo, but at the same time it makes me smile remembering the times <3
Maybe another post later tonight about something less boring but for now..
9 augusti 2011
Russias Toughest Prisons
7 augusti 2011
1 augusti 2011
Heres the link once again, and a clip to On my level by Wiz!
Anyways, super off track. Or actually have no idea what the track is today. Gotta head out to meet some guys, they are gonna chill but im deciding not to chill. Will see how it goes, if i can hold myself haha. Sometimes i wish life was as easy as Wiz'
One can only dream..
Digging this guys music at the moment, a few songs to check out are roll up, on my level and fly solo. All pretty interesting, seems like he has gone for a new kind of approach to the whole hiphop seen. It's pretty chill
Lez go (to town :P)