2 november 2011

Kellys words on AI

"I’ve been asked for many opinions and interviews about Andy Irons and the situations and decisions that lead to his early departure from our world. It’s not something I take lightly. I have my own opinions about not only Andy’s choices and how he ultimately got to the place he did, but also about the way these things are handled from all sides of the story. But what is right? And whose opinions actually matter other than those of his family and closest friends about who they knew and how they feel inside? What is it that each of us hopes to take away from the Andy Irons story? And what is it that we want to give to the story of his life?

I dealt, in a strange way, with the death of my own father through Andy. Even though he was 6 years younger, he reminded me of an older brother and for that reason alone we had a heated relationship. We wanted the same thing and knew the other was in the way.

My father passed away in April 2002, and I made shirts with his picture on it. Andy and I weren’t close then so he had no idea, and for the next few months I stumbled around like a zombie tripping out that I would never again see my dad. Andy had just started his roll that year by winning a couple of events and taking the lead on Tour, and I had just gotten back on Tour but found myself not really caring about winning anything except maybe a war of words or a fight with somebody. Andy was just the guy.

I’ll share a story, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll just say this: We got really drunk on a Tavarua trip. We got into a shouting match. I said something about him thinking he’s the man for winning a couple of contests. He screamed and laughed at me, “You’re going baaaalllldddd, hahahaha.” I told him he’d know how I felt when his father passed away, and he started kicking me in the face. (I had earlier punched him in the face in a crazy 10-man wrestling match in a taxi). Then Shane Dorian tackled him and pulled him off me telling him my father had just died a few weeks ago. Andy started crying hysterically and hugging and apologizing to me for the next half hour before he went to bed and then apologized again the next day. In some weird way I think I just wanted him to know that I was hurting because he had a way of just sorta being tough even though he was one of the most sensitive guys in the world. There was just this strange and awkward dynamic between us. Months later, he won his first title and all I could think to do was give him one of the shirts that I had made with a picture of my dad on it and congratulate him. He gave me a hug and thanked me and felt really awkward that I gave him a shirt with a picture of my dad on it. On one level he knew what it was about, and on another level he wasn’t gonna let me put a chink in his armor and wear that damned thing. For all I know, he either burned it or hid it. I’ve often wondered.

The following years have been pretty well documented in our history. Not always correct or spot on, but at other times pretty accurate. The press maybe said some things that we might have thought but never verbalized. I loved and hated the guy, but I probably only hated him because I admired and envied what he was capable of.

A year and a half before he died, at the first event of the year, he told me he was making a documentary about the changes and lessons in his life, and he wanted to help any kids that had ever looked up to him and struggled in their lives, because he now knew what was possible. He was so clear and happy and confident and positive. We stood off away from everyone else and had our first and only real one-on-one, heart-to-heart talk. I actually welled up with tears for how proud I was of him and how insanely unbelievable it was to have Andy look me in the eye and talk straight to me. He told me he had always looked up to me and asked me if I’d work with him on this documentary. He told me he couldn’t believe how amazing life was and discussed with me his fears, his goals, his struggles and his family. It was the true epiphany in Andy’s life: the moment he was open to clean out and shift all the things holding him back from his actual potential as a human being. And that’s the exciting thing: he had so much more ability and knowledge on so many levels. I won heats against Andy at that particular event and the following one at Bells. The only reason I’m sharing that is because both times he smiled and said good job and although he was pissed off at losing, I could see that he was enjoying the process of learning how to accept things, even the things he really hated, like losing…and to me!

The last time I saw Andy was in Portugal a year ago. I was just about to clinch the title, and he saw me at the event and gave me a hug and told me he was really proud of me and that he hoped I would win the title in Puerto Rico and that he was “psyched” for me. I was thinking “Man, if I had only beaten you in Tahiti, this thing would probably be done,” and I sorta mentioned that to him, and we laughed. He gave me a big hug and high five, and I never saw him again.

Two weeks later in Puerto Rico, some people were saying he was sick, and some people said he was partying. Some people said he never left his hotel room. Martin Potter and I were really concerned when he missed his first heat. I just remember them calling his name and his three-man heat surfing without him, and I felt really weird about it. We agreed that we needed to go see him at his hotel and see if he was alright, because there’s no way that he would fly all that way just to miss a heat. Then we were told that a doctor had seen him, and he was sick and resting. I was uneasy about him going missing, but at least it was an update.

When he missed his next heat, and I heard that he had left, I was really worried. I got a call from a friend who was with him in Miami the night before and he asked me why Andy wasn’t staying in Puerto Rico and he told me Andy had caught a flight home thru Dallas. I called Andy’s phone and got no answer. I sent him a couple of texts and got no reply. That was within 30 minutes of when he was found in the hotel in Dallas. About two or three hours later I got the news that he had died. I sat on the beach with a homeless dog and started getting calls from people.

The story of Andy Irons may likely never feel good to us whether you were his friend and you miss him or you have a strong judgment about his shortcomings and it made you angry. No matter what, it doesn’t make sense for someone so gifted and in touch on so many levels to die alone in an airport hotel room nowhere close to anything that mattered to him. But remembering someone can sometimes be about the toughest thing you ever had with them and feeling like your life is better for having experienced that with them. And if that can make you laugh or smile, you’re honoring their life and their legacy, I believe.

I have questioned whether anything in our relationship and battles had any impact on the course of his life or whether I could have made a difference somehow. Maybe that’s just my own form of denial, but one thing is clear, I still can’t believe that Andy is gone. Hell, I still can’t believe that Todd Chesser is gone and Donnie Solomon and Malik Joyeux and a whole bunch of other good friends are gone. An anniversary is best used for remembering the good things and letting it all sink in more so that the sadness fades away and the good memories remain. And if we learn anything from that, let it be that the positive impact of Andy and all our other friends who are gone bring us closer to the ones and the things that we love right here, right now.

I’ll leave you with one last thought of Andy. The other day I was with a friend who had given Andy some rims for his car. In his office, my friend had a signed board from Andy. The autograph was signed, “Picture me Rollin’!” And so I will, buddy.

With love and respect,


Mashup of the surfing champions

Ever since I can remember, my favorite surfers have been Kelly Slater and Mick Fanning. With the latter being my most favorite. Despite this I still have the utmost respect for every single tour surfer out there from the legends to the new comers.

Ever since Kelly Slater started winning world titles from the age of 18 he was pretty much left unchallenged out in the water. Pretty much no one could match up to his skill, prowess and just plain sick surfing, that was until the Hawaiian born Andy Irons began competing on the World Tour.

The mans biggest feat was winning the World Title from Slater for three consecutive years, them being 2002, 2003 and 2004 respectively. Andy Irons was such a great surfer that the governer of Hawaii declared February 13th forever, "Andy Irons Day".

Sadly, Andy Irons passed away one year ago on November the 2nd, in a hotel room. He was found dead on his back with the sheets pulled right up to his chin. In the beggining it was claimed that Dengue Fever had claimed his life, but later autopsys show he had several drugs in his system at the time, including methamphetamine and metabolite of cocaine. Despite this, I doubt that would have killed the man. Hmmm..

With that being said, Andy, you were never in my top list of 5 favorite surfers, but you were most definately one of the top 5 in the world, and you had the results to prove it. May you rest in peace A.I.

Here's a link to a short film with A.I and some of his amazing surfing skills - http://vimeo.com/31417794

With that being said I would like to send a quick shout to to KELLY FUCKING SLATER! you did it, 11 times world champ CONGRATULATIONS DUDE!


1 november 2011


Day 6 (lol) - My Definition of Love

Right so, as the topic says.. Love.

Such a hard subject. Such a sensitive subject. Such a broad subject. Love differs from person to person, some seeing it much like the way it is portrayed in movies with all the white wedding dresses and the honeymoon and the constantly being at each others side etc etc. Others, preffer to live life slightly less "normal" and have internet relationships, long distance relationships or even other internet personas where they "cyber date" and other stuff hmmm, lol.

This post won't be too long, as I only have one thing to say about love.

If it doesn't feel right, then don't say it.

One thing I have always told myself, is that people are entitled to their own version of love. There are some that choose to love, there are some who choose to be loved. Others who choose to fall in love continuously, changing partners left right and center and there are others who are in love with being in love.

There are so many applicable scenarios when it comes to love, and each one is its very own unique situation which is almost always far more complicated than meets the eye. What I wrote before in bold and italics is pretty much my motto when it comes to the subject. I hate, no, dislike, people who loosely and casually throw around such a strong word which can change peoples entire day - for better or worse.

So, a much shorter post on todays topic but I believe I need not say no more! Take heed in what I have written fellow readers, I personally believe it is the only applicable "rule of love"

Thank you and goodnight internet!


Shark Pool!

Hahaha yo INTERNET!

I was randomly sitting on Skype the other day when a friend linked the_most_epic_lol move ever. This movie just looks fucking fan-tastic! Strangely enough not even I, myself, know whether I am being sarcastic or not. I can't tell if its a parody or a rally bad B rate comedy lol. Maybe you guys can help?

So these college guys are heading to a pool party filled with hot girls, booze, awesome weather and the best part, a POOL! Then some how.. from no where, a shark appears. Dununununununu! Or however you write out the theme song to Jaws lol.

Here is the clip, be sure to grab it off your local torrent site when its released, I know i'll be checking PirateBay regularly!


27 oktober 2011


Right so..

I haven't posted in forever! I've had a few other things on my mind and a couple of other things have happened since I was last in the dark depths of the blogging world! In fact, I haven't been doing much computer activities lately at all.. or well lol, it feels as if I haven't but now when I think back to it I probs have done quite a lot at the computer!

Anyways, been hanging out with the locals in my 'hood, chilling and grilling like always. Things haven't changed much in that sense lol, which is a good thing hehe.

So in the last two weeks or so, can't remember exactly when I posted maybe last week, but we will say two weeks ago, a few things have happened, progressed and changed!

I GOT INTO COLLEGE WOOPWOOP. Before being bashed for it being a community college, you guys out there have to remember one thing - I've been living in boring ass Sweden for the last 6 years and its time to get out. A few people have been telling me that community colleges are like, lol. Literally, lol. Not too much work, teachers aren't the best, facilities aren't the best etc etc, but fuck it, fuck that, and fuck you. I just want to get out. Escape, run, move, flee, have one speed:go etc etc. It doesn't matter if the college sucks, which I doubt it does, being one of the top 10 community colleges in America still means SOMETHING. Either way, accepted, can't wait to leave, get out of the cold, surf, train, skate, learn some new things, experience some West Coast luvin' and just live the general college dream, American Pie style.. but not quite lol. So with that being said, I am flying out on the 4th of January I believe, at around 13:00. It's gonna be tuuuung!

Last few weeks I have managed to write a massive philosophy behind my own personal coaching technique, which will be continuously developed, defined, added, cut away and generally edited as I go about with my training activities. It totaled 4 pages so I had to drop the font size so it could fit on the alloted 3 page limit lol. Spoke mostly about having 4 main factors, or pillars, to base ones coaching methods and routines upon. Those 4 being, in no particular order, self-discipline, trust, critique and self-confidence. Of course they were a lot more developed in writing than what they are here.. But here is pretty much how it looked in the "after" pictures!
During the last week or two that I have been MIA, I managed to get a hold of a little bit of money so I've bought a new fresh 4 kilo bag of Whey 80 from Starnutrition. That plus some other miscalanous items needed in order to get through the last two months of this cut. Or, phase 2 as I like to call it nowadays. 65kg ---> 60kg in 2 months, sounds do-able. So lez go!

Also, last Friday we had a MorotCrü grill at a friends place. Was just chicken and marshmellows and Coke mostly, with some music and crazy fire starting skills. The night was a success and here are the pics to prove it!

OH YEAH! Another thing that happened lately! I was taking the bus to a friends house last weekend or the weekend before that. While driving past the local store on the bus I saw a bunch of blue flashing lights. So I look up and see about 3 or 4 police officers pointing their guns at a guy who's hands were up in the air. Apparently some car chased had happened and the police finally managed to stop him, outside of the supermarket! LOL! So as the bus slowly drove past I saw them walk up to the guy and but him in a supressive position with a knee to the back of the neck, whilst they arrested him. Pretty interesting stuff! Don't know how much you will see form the pic, the flash kinda team flashed me when it bounced off the window of the bus.

 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND, a random fit girl. She looks pretty fucking fit if you ask me :D

Maybe post a bit more later, see if I find time with the new homework assignments and stuff like that! Otherwise, peace out nignags! Tuuung.

19 oktober 2011

What I ate today!

Here we go!
Dinners Chicken n rice with coconut milk curry and a quick salad a la Chrippa!

Breakfast was a bowl of musli, three cups of coffee and a glass of milk!

Lunch was just a salad!

Hmm it's been a while..

It's gone several days now without me posting lol, sorry! Had some other things on my mind lately and been seeing a few people here and there making time for blogging kinda tight!

Progress on SBCC! One of our room mates has been accepted, so just waiting on the rest of us 3 to get an answer. Even if it's a no I just want to know the answer so I can stop thinking about it haha! But just the thought and knowing the fact that one person already got accepted makes me super excited - can't wait!

So the topic for the day is apparently "What you ate today". Well i'm actually going to a tiny post-birthday dinner for a friend of mine so i'll have something to post then about dinner seeing as I have no idea what it will be!

Excusing myself from the diet for today, I've been told I need to "eat more food" in any event, as my motabalism has more than likely, gotten used to eaten such few calories so I should try to "fuel the fire" according to one of my slightly more, educated, friends on this matter haha. I don't know what i'll do, to be honest I think I look decent at the moment. Not quite beach shredded but def better than before! Some abs here and there on a good day hehe ;) Otherwise I'm at a stable 65kg's and would like to go down to about 60kg's but we'll see about that!

Managed to finish my first assignment today from the Coaching Course, it was about philosophy. Who would have thought that philosophy existed in coaching! I wish they had told me this back in school because now it just seems as though philosophy exists in pretty much everything! Daaaamn and I find it so boring! Either way, I managed to finish it in one evening, writing 4 pages. I had to turn the font size down so it fit in the allotted 3 page limit lol.

Basically I wrote about a few core steps needed in order to succesfully train and coach an individual or team; them being self-discipline, trust, self-confidence and critique. Combining those 4 steps and reflecting upon oneself every now and then is key! I believe at least lol, took some examples from myself as I am the only person I have ever really coached in my life heh..

Enough for now! More later with a post about the FOOD! Maybe have a little wine hmm.

For those of you who travel frequently, do you use WiFi in the airports? Tired of having them charge you for it? I know I am! So here my lifehaxx gift of the day, to you guys! :)

11 oktober 2011

My parents and SCHOOL LIFE HAX!


My parents.. haha well.. lol. Long story short I have quite a few of these so called "parents", some are slightly better than others haha to put it simply. My dad has been married, not married, married and married once again. Being married more than two or three times must be pretty tough on ones "love shell", as well as being tough on ones emotions! My father, who is now 50 odd years, some where in the middle of 50 and 60 has had quite the interesting life, so to speak.

A lot of shit went down in my dads childhood and young twenties which, naturally, made him into the person that he is. After several mishaps on the marriage front it seems he has now finally settled down with his current wife, one of my ever so many (lol not really) step mothers and they have been together for almost 10 years now! Grats to them and grats to you dad! Statistics show that most couples or marriages end in divorce after a few short years, so just that 10 year mark, which is here soon, not quite yet, will be a feat!

My father grew up, much like my mother and myself in South Africa, some where in the 50's or 60's. I am being vague because I don't wanna give away his age, and to be honest I'm not really so sure any more haha! I definitely don't know the year he was born - but that's just down to the simple fact that i cannot do simple math for diddly shit! He grew up competing at national level for cricket, rugby, boxing and track cycling I believe so naturally he was quite competitive as well as having grown up with a few siblings, notably two brothers, one older and one younger. He was later drafted, or should I say conscripted into the military where he stayed on over the mandatory two years for an additional 15 years, making his total time in the South African military 17 years. He saw combat quite regularly as he was a high ranking officer with in the military and the South African Special Forces which sadly, has led him to be the person that he is today. Not going too deep into that, as it is obviously too personal, he suffers from what is known as PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, aka shell shock. This is actually a lot more common than one thinks and is often diagnosed on former military personnel who have seen combat and even some who have not, but were just subjective to too much training in a short period of time, and kind of burnout.

Nowadays my father lives here in Sweden with his wife and me, spends a lot of time playing scrabble and reading the news. He wrote a book once, about his life, upbringing and even his experiences with in the military. I will have to double check with him to see if I can post it here, but it can be found at Amazon I believe, under books about Africa ;)

My mother in South Africa is a lost cause. It pains me to write this about my very own mother, but what more is there to say? I know now that this is the internet and this post will forever be saved on internet logs for some random person to find but to be honest, I need to face the facts - My mother pretty much abandoned me when I was less than 4 years old. The few memories I have of her are just blurs of her face, hair, general look and her basically ruining her life. Of course I was too young to understand, but I have met her since I was 4, a few times actually but no more than the fingers I have on my two hands lol. I basically grew up with my grandmother who took me and my sister in when my mom went AWOL. I don't have much else to write here actually about her, except I wish her all the best and that she can some how, some day, manage to fix her shit and pull her life together.

Then come the stepmothers. Strangely enough they aren't all that bad, like fairy tales set them out to be. The first one, who is still living in South Africa working for REUTERS I believe, was married to my dad for a few, dunno how many exactly, years and actually took me in at the age of 4, after my grandmother, and raised me as her own side by side with her own son. She was a wonderful person, I honestly do not know how I would have reacted if I was put in that situation. Just the fact that people genuinely care about others well being makes me appreciate being alive so much more. Yes, I said it, being alive. Who knows what would have happened if she hadn't taken me in under her roof, for those 10 years. Big props to you L, despite us growing apart and our many quarrels you took on an immense responsibility and pulled it off with style. Thank you so much.

The second stepmother, or perhaps stepstep mom, or step mom mom, is the one I currently live with here in Stockholm. She is more like a best friend than a mother figure really. We joke a lot together, talk a lot, some times too much lol and just connect very well for some strange reason. I really see that she truly loves my father for who he is, despite his actions in the past and his given history. Once again, another maiden to the rescue, who, with the help of my own father, took me in under their roof in 2005 and opened my eyes to the rest of the world once making the transition from Africa to Europe. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I didn't connect with my first stepmother, it's more the simple fact that I was far too young and immature to even fathom conversing with her. It's a kid thing, what can I say haha. As one grows up, lol I'm only 20 years old but hey!, one realizes that there is so much more to parents than just the people who make dinner and tuck you in at night.

That was just a short my list of all my parents (lol). On a side note; here is a song by Sean Price, repping Heltah Skeltah. It's called Church! This track is illa dope!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, like I said a few days ago; LIFEHAX! Seeing as I just started school I figured I'd share this awesomely in-genius lifehax, which will help you squeeze a bit more time out of your essays in school or Uni!


10 oktober 2011

Coach in training and Day 2 - My First Love

I give up, I just don't have the time or the drive force to do this day to day posting about myself. Instead i'll post every now and then, most prob once every two or three days addressing each topic! 

Sitting here in front of the computer, been here a while now actually lol. Today I officially became a student of Sweden once again, now that my Applied Sports Coaching course has taken off. I am now officially a coach in training haha.. Was interesting, I have to admit. First off just the mental feeling, the placebo I guess, of not just sitting at home doing NOTHING. Now at least I'm doing some thing that is some what constructive with my time! The teaching is based on distance, so for those of you who don't know, like me lol, it's done over the internet. The uni sends me information, assignments, videos and even lectures through a digital platform they have for the school. So far, day 1 and lecture one is done. Today it was about Coaching Philosophy! Damn I thought I was gonna be done with all the philosophical mumbojumbo stuff when I finished school.. Sadly, I was very mistaken. It seems as if coaching and philosophy play a hand in hand role. But then again what can one NOT apply to philosophy..? Food philosophy? Nah that's probably a real thing haha!

Hit the gym today as well, got a slight pain in my left shoulder, which I've actually had ever since I can even remember lol. Most prob something I should have checked but it comes and goes so i'm not entirely sure about it yet.. Like I said, ever since I can remember I've had it - that's prob not a good thing!

Right so, MY FIRST LOVE. Lol.

What kind of love are we talking about here? In my head im thinking hmmm, my dog Shadow from when I was a kid? My passion for surfing? Or the first food or song I possibly loved once upon a time? Hmm. No I'm pretty sure we're talking the straight up conventional I_love_you kind of love. This one won't be too hard then haha.

Born in 1993, sandy blonde hair and big green eyes. Pursed lips, small frame and a few summer freckles. That's the face of my first love. Quite a strange name I must say, it started with an X although she was basically never called that, much like me and my real name (ey that's one thing we had in common!). Either way, this girl went to my school, was two years younger than me, we had one class together in my final year at school, and we shared a few basic mutual friends. Straight up I can honestly say, that I really loved this girl. No, I still do. If she was to call me in the middle of the night crying, which ironically she has done, I wouldn't hesitate to take her in. The thing is, we broke up about 3 or 4 months ago. I dedicated so much time to her, lost so many friends to her, lost my entire social life to her, fuck I even lost myself to her for a while. I was so infatuated, in love, strung up on this girl it was crazy. Don't get me wrong, I really truly honestly loved her, and didn't mind giving up all those things just to be with her. I did exactly that. I stopped training, stopped being social with friend circles, pretty much alienated myself for those weekends of just "us". I loved the times we spent together and I hated the times we were apart. 

After living together for almost a year and a half one realizes how dependent one becomes upon the other person in question - in this case my ex girlfriend. I realized how I slowly became obsessed with the thought of being around her and spending time with her. She didn't seem to mind that though, and life went on. Us two, living in our own bubble of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Well, not exactly but almost ;) Couple life was both easy and hard, both fulfilling and unfulfilled and both happy and unhappy all at the same time. It can really get into ones psyche, if you're not too careful. To this day, I regret a lot of the things we said and did to each other, not that fighting was our forte - we didn't fight too much. In fact it took almost a year until we had our first REAL fight.. by that I don't mean small little arguments. I remember it clearly, I sat in her kitchen and she was hitting and screaming at me, telling me I was useless pretty much and that getting together was a mistake. I remember so specifically how as the words left her mouth I stood up, asked her if she realized exactly what she had just said and tried to leave. She never let me. I should have. I let he lure me back to the bedroom where we sat and talked for a while, and everything kind of just blew over. The next day it was back to normal. 

I know this post seems kind of one sided but I don't want you guys out there to think for one second I regretted it. Despite all the small regrets at the time, and maybe the few now I definitely think that we both benefited from us being together in the long run. Put aside all the losing friends and connections and gym time etc, and look at it from the whole personal growth perspective. For that, X, if you are reading this, I cannot thank you enough. I loved you, love you and always will love you. No matter where we are in the world, after spending 1.5 years together when you are younger than 20, I will never turn you down or shut a door in your face. I could keep writing, forever it feels like about this girl but I don't feel it's needed. I gave the basics, now here's a picture and a song most suited to her. Once again, don't get me wrong with the song choice lol...

Props to the Black Keys for this tung song btw! Oh damn non-Swedes don't know what tung means.. It means, simply, heavy, epic, awesome.

Btw, no life haxx today this post is already long enough as it is!

Peace out TUNG!